Day 7

I chide my 3 1/2 year old all the time when eating to "Just try it." "It" being something I know, if she will just try, she will enjoy. Most of the time these attempts are met with tight-lipped grimaces and me wondering why in the heck she just won't try it. And yet, my adult self is not any better. I guess we're just comfortable with what we know we like.

At the beginning of this journey I was having an internal pity party about the limited food choices I would have. I pored over sample meal plans and food lists and mentally crossed out things I "knew" I wouldn't like. Some I had not even tried before. Well of course that limited my choices! One of the the things I initially dismissed was natural peanut (or any other nut) butter. But when I went to the grocery store over the weekend I made my way to the peanut butter aisle, just to see what the options were. At first I was more than a little put off by the "natural separation" of the oil and peanut butter that occurs with most natural peanut butters. But I decided to take a chance. And I'm glad I did. The stuff is delicious and contains nothing but peanuts and some type of oil. No sugar, no salt. Just plain old peanutty goodness. And when paired with some apple slices is makes for a rather tasty treat. I imagine it's just as good spread over a whole grain English muffin or perhaps spooned into my morning oatmeal. See - a whole new world of possibilities opened up by just trying something new. Next up, brussel sprouts!

Day 6

Funny thing about sugar. It's in everything! And unless it's naturally in a fruit or vegetable I'm eating, I can't have it. That means no ketchup. Who knew there was sugar in all that tomatoey goodness? I love me some ketchup too. Especially on burgers. Which we had last night.

I was already skeptical of these burgers since I was forgoing my usual high-calorie, and I'm sure high-sugar content, golden potato bun for a sprouted grain Ezekiel bun. Now I have no idea what sprouted grain means, and I've read about it twice. I just know that it's an approved bread I can eat while eating clean. And I gotta have my bread. Anyway, back to being skeptical.

I was skeptical of these burgers because the bun, which comes frozen for sprouted grain reasons, seemed a bit dense as I remove it from the bag to let it thaw. I had a flashback to the previous day's attempt to make a clean cornbread to go with dinner. The result was a dense mess of tasteless, grainy yuck. Michael said it looked like something Toby (Our cat. God rest his soul.) threw up. And he was right. (Michael then threatened to start his own blog about his experience with my eating clean.) But I was pleasantly surprised at how good the bun was. I toasted it for a minute and it was delightful, though I'd be lying if I told you it did not cut the roof of my mouth up. (Maybe less toasting next time?)

So while the bun exceeded expectations, the burger did not. Now to be fair to the burger, it was a perfectly good bison burger. It was just not the burger I am used to enjoying. You know, the greasy burger with cheese and sometimes bacon, slathered with mayo and ketchup. Makes my mouth water just writing about it. Not that I indulged in these a lot, but you see what this burger was up against. But, in all honesty, I enjoyed the heck out of my mayo and ketchupless (mustard only!) burger. It was just what I needed after days of eating all things green. Though I'm going to need to find a good alternative to ketchup because the sweet potato fries accompanying the burger needed some dipping sauce. And there's not much better for fry dipping than ketchup. Well, maybe, mayo but I digress.

This morning at church the sermon was about changing the way we think about things in order to change the way we feel about things. Think about it. Our way of thinking is what causes us to feel certain things and our feelings lead us to act in a certain way. We can't change our actions, or even our feelings, until we change our way of thinking. That's what this journey is about for me. I'm hoping that I can change the way I think about food, so that my feelings and actions will change as well. I hope to look at food as fuel for my body and, in turn, to make the right choices as to what that best fuel is. Will I never eat another sweet thing or fried thing or chicken tikka masala with garlic naan again. Heck no! But I want to learn to make these the exception, not the rule. I'm not there yet. Not even close. But I'm finding as I open my mind up to try new things (recipes, etc...) I am pleasantly surprised by them. (Clean cornbread excluded!)

Day 5

Pretty good day. Got to get out of the house and go to the grocery store which was a mistake of gargantuan proportions. There were so many people and I had to wait for 15 minutes just to check out. But I now have a fridge and pantry full of options. Yay!

I'm super-excited about tonight's dinner. Buffalo burgers and sweet potato fries. I can hardly wait. I have been craving a burger for a week now. I hope it does not disappoint. I'm a little leary because I will be eating said burger on an Ezekiel bun. I've never had one and I'm a little scared. Here's hoping it does not taste like cardboard. I'll let you know.

Headaches are now gone and I have successfully weaned myself from caffeine. Oddly enough, as big of a sweet tooth as I have, I really have not missed sweets. Now chips are another story. I have dreams of opening a bag of tortilla chips and doing some major damage. Hoping that subsides as the days go on. Hope everyone enjoyed the sunshine today! Off to enjoy (I hope) dinner!

Days 3 & 4

Had I of known when I started this little challenge on February 1 that I would be iced and snowed in, at home, for the entire first four days I might have thought twice. But that's life, right. Always throwing you a curve ball. And you just gotta roll with the punches. Today, in reference to all the ice and snow that has left pretty much all of North Texas stuck indoors, my mom posted this on FB: "I love how God slows us down when we think we have all of this really important stuff to do. It really puts things in perspective." I love that. And I must say, as trying as it has been at times, I have loved every minute of this time at home with my family. But, enough is enough.

Luckily, I've been able to maintain my clean eating, though it's getting tougher as groceries are starting to dwindle! I was so looking forward to a trip to Sprouts or Whole Foods today to load up on everything I needed to restock the fridge and pantry and to try a few new recipes I found. But, alas, looks like that trip will have to wait until sometime tomorrow. I hope. For the sake of everyone I love stuck here with me. I hope!

I have a renewed confidence, though, about this journey. If I've been able to make it through these first four days at home with the pantry so temptingly near, I feel I can make it for the entire month - and maybe more.

Day 2

It's hard to say if my heightened irritability is from the detox period or the fact that I've been cooped up in the house for almost two full days with a third "snow" day in the forecast for tomorrow. I'm thinking it's mostly the latter as I really have not felt any ill effects yet - aside from a slight headache. It makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I truly expected a few days of major headaches and the shakes and any other myriad of stereotypical detox symptoms. But, overall, I feel fine. Hungry ALL THE TIME, but fine. I am eating 5-6 small meals every day - usually ever 3-4 hours - but I am still hungry. I mean, I just ate dinner like an hour and a half ago and my tummy is rumbling already. Is my body so used to consuming such high calorie foods that it now thinks it's starving? Yet another reason I think I'm not doing something right. Think it's time to reach out to people who've done this before and find out. (Jeayne - that means you! :-))

Off to bed. Must rest for day 3 of entertaining a 3 1/2 year old and a 10 1/2 month old. Lord help me.

Day 1

This. Is going to be tough.

I have to admit that I woke up this morning less than enthused about this little committment I've made. In fact I felt a sense of dread. Especially when I found out the girls' schools were closed due to the weather. There's something about being home all day that always brings out the munchies in me. I wanted nothing more than to spend the cold morning drinking my usual coffee-flavored cream and sugar while dreaming of a pot of chili, or chowder or other cold-weather staple. Anything other than what I knew I would be eating today. "You can always start tomorrow" I could hear the voice in my head say. And I was so tempted. But I overcame. My desire to, for once, follow through with something I started kicked in. And while it wasn't easy; it was not as bad as I thought. Starting with the cup of black coffee. I kind of actually enjoyed it.

I caught myself many times today ALMOST sticking something restricted in my mouth. A cheeto as I put some on Mags plate for lunch. (Hey, I only said I would be eating clean!) One of Macie's sweet snack puffs. The things I would normally just eat without thinking!

And then, I had an apple. The first thing to resemble a sweet that I had all day and I don't think I've ever enjoyed an apple as much as I did that one. I actually sat there and savored every bite of it's crisp, sweet goodness. Perhaps that's what this is all about.

All I know is that it's going to be a long 28 days.

Hi. I'm Lisa...

...and I'm a junk-food addict. There I said it. And I think I've hit rock bottom. At least I feel like I have. There has been a battle going on inside of me for some time now. A battle between what I know I should eat and what my Epicurean self actually chooses to eat. Maybe it's because I'm getting older (and a midlife crisis looms?) but I have been thinking a lot about the food (mostly crap) I actually put into my body. But not just me - the stuff I allow my girls to put into their bodies, for the sake of ease and convenience on me mostly. And yet, as bothered as I am by it, I have done nothing to remedy it. But I think it's time.

Last week I decided that in February I am going to eat "clean" for the entire month. And then I said as much on Facebook, which means I'm kind of committed. Then I had the idea to start a blog to chronicle my adventures into clean eating, because - quite frankly - I really feel I'm going to need a vessel for the monster that will be the sugar-free me, to vent. At first anyway. I'm hoping to learn a lot about myself along the way - and about the way I think, and feel, about food. I'm looking forward to (I hope) renewed energy. But most of all I'm hoping to develop good, healthy habits that I can pass on to my girls. I'd like to save them from years of yo-yo dieting if I can help it. It's no way to live.

It's not going to be easy. You're talking about a girl who may eat a fruit and vegetable a week, and it's usually fried. But I look forward to the challenge, and to breaking my addiction to the stuff that's really just weighing me down (pun intended). I look forward to sharing my journey - the good, the bad and the ugly - with you. I promise to be completely honest, and I apologize in advance if you are on the receiving end of an irritable, sugar-free me as I detox. They say it only lasts about a week. We'll see...